Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
