When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
