I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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