You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
