If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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