I accidentally burped into my bong.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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