he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I am one with the molecules
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
