thus making me awesome and them whores
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
