It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
