it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
