just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
