haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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