i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
