Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
