i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
