he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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