I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
