i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
