yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I love you. Go after that dick
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
