so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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