i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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