So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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