is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
