So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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