xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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