Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
This is classic penis vs brain.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
