We should be called the Road Head Warriors
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
