Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
