I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
