ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
