Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
