I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
