it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
