How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
