Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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