Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
