is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You pole danced in your parka.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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