Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
