no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
