I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
