So drunk its hurt
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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