Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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