Are we in a gay sports bar?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
