What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
