Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he thought i was a dude.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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