I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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