Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i think i have two assholes
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
