What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
