My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
