Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
