Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
